It’s just a reality that you have to deal stupid people now and then. I’m not talking about their mental capacity. Instead,I mean the actions that customer service people take to “serve” the customer. I see three distinct levels of customer service stupidity:
Level One: Glorified Receptionists
Some companies hire a bank of chair-warmers for low wages, title them customer service (my favorite is the “customer advocate”), skimp on training, and expect them to give good customer service to you and I, the customer.
Here’s a good example. I am currently looking for a pair of Levi’s Carpenter Shorts. I’ve owned several pair over the past few years. They are comfortable, affordable enough so I don’t feel bad working in the yard or fishing in them, and shorts
Poor guys – I’m civil and ask them to transfer me to the manager.
Level Two: “My Hands Are Tied”
Sometimes the rare company gets the items in #1 right, and then management screws it up. They put so many rules, regulations and procedures in place that the customer service person has no authority to actually help out.
Oh, you can’t do anything? – Again, I’m civil and ask them to transfer me to the manager.
Level Three: The Customer Service Prima Donna
The worst level of customer service stupidity, though, must be the person who can actually help the customer and refuses to. These people are usually rude and condescending, and they use “customer” as an insult.
Idea Seed
I really don’t mind dealing with stupidity in the form of #1 and #2. But dealing with #3 makes me want to chew my own toes off. I’ve even posted about some of my ridiculous encounters here and here. Each time I talk to a prima donna, I am left feeling completely unsatisfied and all I want is sweet revenge. That’s right, you are intentionally a jerk to me, and I’ll intentionally be a jerk back. But my recent epiphany came from a hoax email I received last week from a family member. It’s the Free Sony Ericsson Laptop hoax that has been around for years. Here’s the email:
Use This Email as a Template to Mess With Stupid Customer Service People
Ha ha! It’s so easy. All you need to do is follow a few steps and you’ll cause Inbox Hell for the customer service punk who is trying to bend you over. Here we go. I’ll use Direct TV for an example since they are idiots.
DirecTV Example of a Revence Email
1. Use the company’s product/service to create a completely ridiculous offer that will get the attention of everyone who receives the email. The big word to focus on is “free”.
Attention: Direct TV is offering a free promotion to expand their business with your help! All you have to do is forward this email to twenty people. Be sure to copy John Doe, Direct TV’s head of concept, so they have a record of you and can offer you the free service. Here’s what you get:
- FREE service from Direct TV for 2 FULL YEARS.
- FREE installation. Free equipment.
- FREE premium movies and HD service
2. Grab a photo or two just to make it look good.
3. Here’s the most important part: insert the real email address of the idiot customer service people you want to mess with. Most customer service people, especially at the prima donna level, will have ad email address to contact customers. The best way to get this is say something like “Can you send that to my email address so I have that in writing?” regarding something fairly innocent, so you can capture the email address.
4. Send this email to everyone you can – email contacts, social networking contacts, etc.
Over the next few days, this email has the potential to spread like wildfire. When the stupid customer service person is copied on all the forwards, their email inbox will get filled with a ton of crap.
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